Tag, I'm It

I've been Tagged by Messy Christian. This means I must pick five professions from the list below and finish the thought. Then I'm to tag three other people to join in on the fun. Ok, here goes.

If I could be a scientist, I'd be a bit of a maverick and drive my scientific colleagues batty. I'd be the one coming up with off-the-wall theories that I just instinctively knew to be right. Because I'm not the greatest at finding proofs that back up my wild instincts, I'd probably be very unsucessful in any scientific pursuit and get drummed out of the core, then I'd live the rest of my days in poverty and shame. Later on after I was dead, someone would discover that my crazy idea wasn't so crazy at all, and that I was right all along. ;)

If I could be a chef, everything would be cooked in butter or olive oil, no low-fat, no-fat or sugar substitutes would be allowed anywhere near my kitchen! There would be lots of decadent desserts made with cream and eggs and all sorts of wonderful stuff. Bread would be made fresh every day and all our herbs would be grown in a traditional French potager outside the kitchen. Tradition would be honored and embraced, but my creations would be influenced by a variety of different cultures. I probably wouldn't do well cooking for very large crowds - it'd have to be an intimate little Bistro type establishment with a good turnover rate!

If I could be an athlete, if I had the strength, agility and a good pair of properly straight knees, I would love to know what it's like to be able to skate and land a triple axel, or pole vault myself effortlessly into the sky, or hit a three point basket from halfway across the court as the 4th quarter ended, or shoot a winning goal in a hockey playoff. Just once, once in my life I'd give my left arm to hit a home run out of Fenway Park. Actually, I'd even settle for an inside-the-park home run. Or a wall-ball double off the Green Monster. :)

If I could be a world famous blogger, I'd get all full of myself and go around pronouncing my opinion to everyone I meet. I would sit at my desk all day reading news sites and other blogs so as to be sure I'd have no lack of things which to criticize, expose, or complain about. Every once in a while I'd say something nice about someone. Soon I'd become completely self-absorbed, obsessed, and forget to shower daily. I'd be cranky and mean to commenters who call me nasty names. I would not enjoy being famous and would probably up and quit on the advice of my doctor and for the good of my health. (Good thing that's never going to happen, eh? ;)

If I could be a writer, I imagine I wouldn't be a lot different than I am today, except that I'd be perhaps more serious and disciplined about it. I'd work a lot harder, and with a purpose to tell a story that deserves to be told. I'd be horribly self-conscious about every paragraph and become quite the nervous wreck every time I submitted a manuscript. (Hopefully all the rejection notices would not drive me back to drink!) The moment something I wrote was published, I'd experience a momentary flush of pride and pleasure which would be immediately followed by a sense of panic and fear that I'd never be able to write anything even halfway decent again. I'd have to struggle to put any successes behind me as much as any failures - dwelling on either makes me an insufferable, moody, and whiny neurotic. I'd have to balance writing out with less cerebral activities to bring me back down to earth.

Now tag, you're it:

Samia at Redneck's Wife
Cindy at Quotidian Light
Michelle at Seeking Serenity

At your leisure, pick five professions from the list below and finish the thought. Post it on your blog and then tag three others to do the same.

(Ladies, let me know if you don't want to play and I'll tag someone else!)

If I could be a scientist...
If I could be a farmer...
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an inn-keeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be an astronaut...
If I could be a world famous blogger...
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world...
If I could be married to any current famous political figure...