Feeble Knees

Friday, October 07, 2005

One week ago...

Has it been a week already?

A week ago at this time I had already spent a night in the hospital on bed rest hoping that the application of Cervidil would speed things along and possibly get labor started. At 7:30 in the morning last Friday they started me on an IV drip with Pitocin, a labor-inducing hormone. It wasn't so bad then. The worst part was being hooked up to both the IV and fetal monitors. It was a bit of an inconvenience, having to get unhooked from the monitors every time I needed to visit the loo, etc. And I couldn't walk around very much, which I must say was rather tedious and at times it really tried my patience.

By 12:30 nothing really had happened, even though I'd been on the highest dose of Pitocin they can give for several hours. Any contractions I was having were very, very minor. I still felt fine - no pain or need for any pain medication. The OB decided to break my water. That's what finally got things rolling.

After that it's all a bit of a blur. Contractions came on top of contractions and eventually I did get a shot for the pain. I never did get an epidural, which surprised even me, because for some reason at that point (that I can't quite explain) I just didn't want it - at all. Not that I probably didn't need it, but something in me resisted the idea. Given that I'd always insisted that I'd take an epidural as soon as they offered it to me, it came as a bit of a surprise.

Long, long story short (and leaving out a lot of the gory details) my son was born at 12:30 Saturday morning and weighed in at 7lbs 10oz. I am woefully incapable of describing to you the utter joy and triumph of that moment for Mr. F and I, so I won't even try. You can just imagine for yourself. :)

As I had suspected he would be, Baby F is the spitting image of his dad. He does seem to have my hair color, but at the moment, that's were the resemblance to me begins and ends. But I knew months ago it would be that way, why I'm not sure, but I just did. He is a very cuddly guy. The nurses in the hospital seemed to be very taken with him. Sunday morning as she brought him back to my room, one nursery nurse - her eyes wide with wonder exclaimed: "He is SUCH a CUDDLE BUG! Oh my does this little boy love to cuddle!" Late in the evening another nurse brought him in to my room. As I struggled to wake and sit up, I could see her in the dim light just holding him and gaze at him lovingly. He stared back at her intently and she began to melt. "Hey Bug," she said softly. Something about the tenderness of her tone made my heart overflow and melt everywhere. Long after she left the two of us alone to nurse I was still wiping tears from my eyes just thinking about it. (Yeah, I know, hormones are wacky things. :)

So though it seems a strange nickname for a little baby, (and I grant that it is), I've decided his blog name will be Bug. It sounds a bit quirky, even as I type it, but trust me there's a lot of sentimental significance to it, so much so that it just sticks. We'll change it later if we need to, or if something more appropriate reveals itself. But for now he's Mr. A. Cuddle Bug, or Bug for short, if you please.

There's no way I could relay to you all that's been going on in my heart and mind since they first placed him on my tummy, or since I first beheld Mr. F cradling Bug in his arms, his face aglow with wonder and amazement. It's strange to tell you how normal and utterly natural it feels to have a baby living here in our house.

No one or thing could have ever prepared me for how incredible this would all be, or what it has done to our hearts and minds. It's just too good to be believed.

* * *

Haven't had much time (or inclination, to be honest) to blog or read blogs, and I'm sorry it took me so long to post this update - especially to those who have been waiting for news. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting! We didn't come home from the hospital until Monday, and it's been an adjustment. I will try to start posting again with some regularity.

I'm also considering starting a separate mommy blog. What say you? I realize that I will probably have that new mother's overwhelming need to gush about how wonderful his toenails are, and some people may or may not find that fascinating. :) So it might be best to journal about that in a separate space. We'll see, and I'll let you know if I go that route.

Thanks to everyone who prayed for us. Your prayers were very much needed, as it turned out. We are so grateful for your care and concern and well wishes. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul...
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