Feeble Knees

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Queen Eats Humble Pie

Yesterday was not one of my better days.

A few months ago I learned how to sharpen knives with a stone. The object is to remove any burrs - little dents and dings - from the blade by drawing it deftly across an abrasive surface. You must hold the blade at a very subtle angle and gently rub it across the stone in circles, gradually wearing down the imperfections, making it straight and true.

As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
Proverbs 27:17

One of the things I love about Mr. F is that he has a particular knack for sharpening me that no one else has. He is loving and respectful about it, but he doesn't beat around the mulberry bush either.

Yesterday morning I clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed and seemed aggravated with the world in general. When I posted, I was in high dudgeon and feeling pretty high and mighty. By the afternoon hours, my high and mightiness gradually gave way to feeling kind of sheepish. By dinner, I was looking for some backup.

"I was, uh, a little aggravated when I posted this morning...."
Mr. F. just looked up in acknowledgment.
"Uh, did you read-?"
"Um, yeah." he said.


His tone and expression told me what I was already beginning to suspect. I did go overboard and overreact with both of my posts yesterday. It was far from criminal, but far from being cool-headed and reasonable.

I feel like I failed my first real blog test on how to handle comments. Is there a better way? I need to think about this. And as far as the person who asked for my name, I could have been quite a bit more civil about that. If you didn't write me off as a big jerk on a high-horse, and happen to be reading this, I'm sorry.

Rather than sit here and manufacture reasons for why I blew a fuse yesterday I should just state publicly that I am the type of person who flies off the handle, more than I care to admit. Subtlety and shutting my mouth is not something I excel at, which is partly behind some of my difficulties in the organized church, business, etc. I can only be good for so long, sooner or later I shoot my mouth off. Bluntness is my specialty.

Mr. F is exactly the opposite in this regard, his quietness and respect temper me. I can almost sense the wry smile on the face of the Lord, seeing how life with Mr. F gently smoothes away my rough edges. Someday maybe I'll be keen, my words and deeds smooth and precise.

Until then, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa...

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